Puppets Obituary / December 31 2003

Death doesn't count.

Boxing Day Obituary / December 26 2003

Examining the mysterious plank in my eye.

Llama God Obituary / December 24 2003

Christmas Eve with Tennessee.

Little Guy Obituary / December 17 2003

I'm doing it for the book contract. . .same as Joe Lieberman.

Century of Flight Obituary / December 17 2003

Low point in year 39.

Tits Obituary / December 15 2003

Finally, according to one published account, Anthony gave the men an argument that she thought might catch their attention: "If you refuse us our rights as citizens, I will bring charges against you in Criminal Court and I will sue each of you personally for large, exemplary damages!"

Holes in History Obituary / December 14 2003

Currently the location of the bunker is not marked. The area is instead occupied by a small Chinese restaurant and mini mall while the emergency exit point for the bunker in what was the Reichskanzlei gardens is now occupied by a car park.

Unicorn Obituary / December 10 2003

Murdoch's implicit philosophical position is austere, classical, rigorous: unromantic, and pessimistic. Not that pessimism precludes comedy: on the contrary, it is probably the basis of the comic spirit.

Rails Obituary / December 8 2003

Inner voice of the people.

Living in Infamy Obituary / December 7 2003

A little remembrance.

Zero Obituary / December 3 2003

I said.

World AIDS Day Obituary / December 1 2003

Hope is the thing with feathers.

Perfectionism Obituary / November 29 2003

Shelled by Jacqueline du Pré.

Euphonic Sounds Obituary / November 24 2003

Blowing out the candles with the King of Ragtime.

Light of My World Obituary / November 19 2003

In total Holman Hunt made four journeys to the Holy Land, painting the landscape and religious scenes. His burning ambition was to find the actual locations where Biblical events happened, and then paint them. These paintings were generally well received and he became rich on the reproduction rights of his Palestine pictures.

Tomorrow is Another Obituary / November 18 2003

Other people's problems give me vertigo.

Not Just a Body Obituary / November 16 2003

An Azucena; interpolate raves for last Friday's performance of Il Trovatore at The Amato Opera.

No Headphones Obituary / November 13 2003

Malingering for God at The Met.

Netted Obituary / November 11 2003

Failing to do full justice to Robert Helpmann, who also played Hamlet and generally out-sold Olivier doing so.

Instant Gratification Obituary / November 9 2003

Going around and coming around to Morarji Desai.

Abduction Obituary / November 8 2003

Fading to gray with Sister Aimee.

Stoïque et Réfléchie Obituary / November 7 2003

Haunted by his Midas touch.

Eve Obituary / November 6 2003

Paging The Prophet above Tippecanoe.

Slalom Obituary / November 4 2003

Eight too many.

L'Age d'Or Obituary / November 3 2003

Still surreal after all these months.

Penetration Obituary / October 31 2003

I was scarred for life by Rod Serling. . .and I loved it.

Cheery Obituary / October 27 2003

A day in the life.

Exile on Easy Street Obituary / October 26 2003

She liked the island Manhattan.

La Mer Obituary / October 21 2003

Claude Debussy, or Why Marcel Proust's mother's friends could never get through.

Cracker Obituary / October 20 2003

Thanks to that yappy girl on the Q train for the first line.

Fluffy Sky Things Obituary / October 19 2003

Being more specific with help from Luke Howard.

Only God Can Make An Obituary / October 13 2003

During the course of which I learn, to my astonishment, that Joyce Kilmer was a man.

I Dared Obituary / September 22 2003

You call that a diary?

Hula Lou Obituary / September 17 2003

I have left my husband. He is too slow.

Artificial Foot Obituary / September 15 2003

Two stories tall and cumbersome, the device vaporized the isle of Elugelab, a mile in diameter.

Not Gonna Get Us Obituary / September 14 2003

Not 23, avenue du Bois de Boulogne either.

American Experience Obituary / September 10 2003

Fanfare for the falling people.

Fossil Fuel Obituary / September 9 2003

This is no beauty pageant.

Quarter Pounder Obituary / September 7 2003

Wesley Willis and counting.

Just Intonation Obituary / September 3 2003

My new cat Fanny's favorite composer.

Chatobituary / September 2 2003

Special Guest Contributor Peter Litchfield shares recollections from the age of real men.

Tights Obituary / September 1 2003

Chalk up another one to the Mole Men.

Sandy Claws Obituary / August 26 2003

My contribution to the Peggy Lee Foundation for the Prevention of Boredom in Animals.

Mantra Obituary / August 25 2003

Once, while Narendra was in meditation he shouted, "Where is my body?" Others had to touch his body and convince him of its existence.

First Wife Obituary / August 24 2003

"however, it sees a Lieserl became real, how you wished it. Is it also healthy and does walk it already duly?" Albert Einstein in a letter at Mileva Maric briefly after the birth of their daughter, 4 February 1902

Meat on the Menu Obituary / August 20 2003

Steak tomorrow; Idi Amin tonight!

Lulu Obituary / August 18 2003

For my cat Louise.

Power Question Obituary / August 16 2003

Jack London suggests it could have been worse.

Spiritual Obituary / August (14) 2003

Where was Moses when the lights went out?

Bloodbath Obituary / August 13 2003

You call that a resignation? I'll show you a resignation!

Emptying the Benches Obituary / August 11 2003

I'm so bored I could bitch-slap Reggie Jackson.

Wave of Whoopsie Obituary / August 7 2003

The Wednesday Deadwood came to Brighton Beach.

Noir Desir Obituary / August 5 2003

The thrill is gone for Marie Trintignant.

Memory Lane Obituary / August 3 2003

Humid nights; Wilhelm Müller is better than air conditioning.

Trompe L'Oeil Obituary / July 31 2003

William Harnett could have fooled me.

Third Time Lucky Obituary / July 28 2003

Tearing myself away from Bachelorette Island long enough to say So Long Bob Hope.

Bastille Day Obituary / July 14 2003

Feeling all right with Marie-Antoinette.

My Cut Obituary / July 11 2003

Who will manage you when you're dead?

Monster Ripper Obituary / July 7 2003

"Everyone respected Rhonda. Believe me, no one tried to cut the legs off her gear, shave her eyebrows off or toothpick her car door locks."

Gay Mafia Obituary / July 1 2003

Marching with the spirit of The Dapper Don.

Smiley Was the Family Dog Obituary / June 30 2003

I've dropped the thread and enlist Shirley Booth's help.

Wladziu Redux Obituary / June 25 2003

Special guest contributor miss-cupcake weighs in with a wish list for Liberace. (RIP Cary James.)

Pick a Card Obituary / June 23 2003

Retracing certain steps with Moina Mathers and the Hermetic Order of the Morning Star Inc..

Not Dead, Only One! / June 20 2003

Still a baby.

Dangling Obituary / June 17 2003

Why Elizabeth Howe?

You Play You Pay Obituary / June 15 2003

Drawing a pair of twos against Poker Alice.

Venerable Obituary / June 13 2003

Confucius somewhat lost in translation.

Bomb Fragments Obituary / June 11 2003

Picking up the pieces with Carl Wilson of all people.

Rainy Season Obituary / June 8 2003

Robert Schumann being unusually tiresome.

Portmanteaubituary / June 4 2003

When it helps to be Colin Powell's son.

I Use Cat Litter Myself Obituary / June 3 2003

Burying the Apollo's Sandman Sims.

Golden Years Obituary / May 29 2003

Happy birthday Old Snowshoe or something.

Bodice-Ripper Obituary / May 28 2003

She pressed her fevered lips to the censored portions of his rugged manliness.

Rags Obituary / May 26 2003

Remembering the wife and eleven children of the late Jan Vermeer.

Fatty Obituary / May 21 2003

Fannie Farmer, who never married, wrote THIS.

A Book is Just a Book Obituary / May 12 2003

Artifactual remains of Ingeborg Bachmann.

Love Machine Obituary / May 11 2003

"An ageless pop-culture queen, she was raven-haired, deeply tanned and radiant, as if she would go on writing one best seller after another as long as the Supreme Court would let her."

Mailman Obituary / May 8 2003

On the road without Jack Kerouac.

Red White & Blues Obituary / May 6 2003

25 years dead and Louis Jordan is a more viable contender than the other nine democrats.

First Buffy Obituary / May 5 2003

The sad and shocking story of Anissa Jones.

Flying Fuck Obituary / May 4 2003

More pain; more Richard Wagner.

Titty-Boom Obituary / April 27 2003

Unlike Lady Linda McCartney, I resist the British invasion.

White Keys Only Obituary / April 27 2003

How I helped keep Nina Simone holed up in a house near Marseilles.

Old Old Lady Obituary / April 26 2003

I'm a survivor like Mary Christian.

Pack Your Bags Obituary / April 16 2003

Party down for Passover with Winnie Ruth Judd.

Steppes Obituary / April 13 2003

In dubious battle's aftermath with John Steinbeck; features bloating.

Hands Like Claws Obituary / April 10 2003

Greeting an American dawn in Baghdad with Max Schreck.

Twenty Years Later Obituary / April 9 2003

NBC still sucks without Jessica Savitch.

Off Broadway Obituary / April 8 2003

Dear Mr. Picasso, Does desire screech when you catch it by the tail? Or does the tail snap off in your grip, like a gekko's, and desire and its stump scurry away? Awaiting your reply, Sincerely, A Budding Playwright.

War Obituary / April 7 2003

Looks like a case for Agent Double-O-Soul, Edwin Starr.

Basra Obituary / April 1 2003

Sobriety anniversary salute (7!) to my ex-girlfriend Liat.

Special Treat / April 1 2003

Punks like Michael Parrish just blow my mind! Miss Edie sings all right.

Marauder's Daughter Obituary / March 30 2003

Family anecdotes about Lillian Hellman.

Pisan Obituary / March 26 2003

Just when you were expecting Galileo Galilei, you get Edith Massey instead.

Post-Oscar Obituary / March 24 2003

Lawrence of Arabia for my beloved Welsh fatty's prize-winning balloolies (Feed Africa!). . .and Peter O'Toole o'too.

Monkey Planet Obituary / March 20 2003

Indefensibly, contains material neither written nor endorsed by Pierre Boulle.

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Obituary / March 18 2003

A pissed-off old bystander throws stones on behalf of co-ed-turned-carpet Rachel Corrie.

Karoake Bar Obituary / March 17 2003

Belated update on my sister's birthday celebrations on the Ides of March.

Liza-Longing Obituary / March 13 2003

Oscar Hammerstein only wrote about the South Pacific. David Gest (according to Cindy Adams) owns real estate there. The way she smells, right.

Incidentally / March 12 2003

If my job didn't make me stupid, I would have mentioned by now that Kevin Borneman's novel (click on WRTNG) is worth reading. And it makes Britain jealous.

Dream World Obituary / March 10 2003

Will more justice for Fred Rogers mean more peace for me?

Timely Obituary / March 8 2003

The ladies on the bus were complaining. International Women's Day is a big holiday in Russia, so all the flower vendors in Brighton Beach raised their prices this morning. Late at night, I transcribe and edit notes on Hector Berlioz.

Book of Joel Double Obituary / March 5 2003

Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her canopy.

Dog Vomit Obituary / March 4 2003

If Mr. Rogers really worked, how come we have the Hummer 2? Would we have had it sooner otherwise? Would I have it now? Oh. . .oh. . .Hypmotized!

Look / March 2 2003

Friday night on 23rd Street, glimpsed in a silvery street-lamp pool, a model bouncing loose like a bead off the tassels of Fashion Week. Walking fast, leaning hard into her cigarette; a gleam of pleasure in her pale eye and her liver-colored brow its frame.

Self-Dramatizing Obituary / February 24 2003

Another melancholy heiress who reminds me of me; she's Christina Onassis.

Good Riddance Obituary / February 23 2003

Repeat after me: I Outlived Richard Speck. I Outlived Richard Speck. I Outlived Richard Speck. Oh by the way, here are HIS TITS in motion.

Mystifying Obituary / February 20 2003

Inexcusably short. (Me, not Thelonius Monk).

Peace Obituary / February 15 2003

From Scotland, dead again, Dolly.

St. Valentine's Day Obituary / February 14 2003

Saddam Hussein, Baghdad (1.17.03): "The entire nation will rise up in defense of its right to life, of its role and of anything it holds sacred. . .Their arrows will be on the wrong track or will recoil to their breasts, God willing. . .The martyrs of the nation will turn into green birds in paradise as the Merciful has promised."
Another view is offered by poet
Layla al-Akhyaliyya.